09 February 2012
Why New Year's Resolutions Don't Work
... And How to Fix Them
By Simon Starr
Ok, I'm going to be totally up-front about it. I am a Performance Coach and I didn't make any New Year's Resolutions this year.
In fact, I stopped making them quite a while ago as they ended up annoying me rather than buoying me - a distraction instead of an attraction.
It is easy to interpret this as being weak-willed and undisciplined, and for a while I even interpreted it in myself as a character flaw as I was talking big but walking small.
This is not great for the self-esteem because the focus ends up being on what you are not doing rather than what you should be doing. There ends up being more frustration than celebration, and as a result the disconnect with the goal grows while the effort around it falls.
This then begs the question: how do make your goals, especially New Year's Resolutions (NYRs) more sticky?
There are three significant reasons that contribute to the derailment of NYRs and goals:
1. Superficial attraction.
Part of the problem with New Year's resolutions is that they are often made without too much thought. They look good on the surface, and the idea of achieving them is appealing, but the driver of the goal is poorly understood.
In some cases, the goal may not even be truly yours. It may be something that someone else thinks you should do, or a goal someone else has that you like the sound of. In either case you do not have full ownership of the goal.
2. Lack of Planning.
It's pretty easy to think of lots of things that you want in life, however, working out how you are going to get them is a different story. You might set yourself the goal of losing 10 kilograms, but how are you going to achieve that? What's your plan for when you are tired and don't feel like exercising? What's your plan for when you are hungry and need something now!?
3. Lack of Measurement.
For better and for worse, goal tracking captures the ups and the downs of achieving your goal. In the absence of proper tracking, two things happen: firstly, you only hear/remember whats been done well and secondly, it's much harder to pick any trends that might be emerging.
For the one task that has been done well, there might be four things that weren't done well or certainly could be done better, so collectively it amounts to one step forward and four little steps backwards.
Humans have an incredible capacity to be resolute and show great resolve when the task or moment engages them properly. So, how is it that people who are suddenly cast into a dire position can produce such extraordinary efforts?
Start by looking beyond the surface appeal of the goal to the real reason why you want to achieve it, and then work out how to get there. Set little milestones to shoot for along the way, as it's amazing how motivation and focus builds once you start getting a few runs on the board.
These three guidelines (Attraction, Planning and Measurement) work best in synch. When all three are happening, your progress will be much better than if one or two are missing.
Stay tuned for 'WOW! Goals - how these will power up your success in 2012'.
Simon Starr is a performance coach who has worked extensively since 1992 with businesses, sports teams and people who want to improve the success in their lives. He can be contacted at 8373 0202 or via email sstarr@se-ca.com
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Posted under: Performance, Goal Setting
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